What it does is increase the gap in your mind in a way that makes you feel ‘more’ right and the other person ‘more’ wrong. In case you’ve not twigged yet, I just said “increase the gap.” So, you increase the distance between you emotionally in a way that affects you both. And not in a good way.
Have you ever tried making up with someone after a disagreement which was dominated by mutual point-scoring? It’s hard, isn’t it? The gap can get so wide that reconciliation feels nigh impossible, even though the original disagreement may have been trivial.
There’s also an issue of escalating misfortunes, as two people hell-bent on one-upmanship begin to behave like comedy characters, each trying so hard to outdo the other, they lose sight of just how much they each are suffering as a result. Behaviour that began in the school restroom years earlier rears its ugly head in adulthood, as common sense proves no match for the injured ego.
Part of the problem with our world is that the folks who make most of the big decisions haven’t left the playground any more than you or I. They are just as human as the rest of us and subject to the same failings. We say they should be above it, expect it of them, but know full well that they can’t meet expectations we can’t meet for ourselves. We then console ourselves that it’s all their fault, we are victims and they should be unelected, in prison, or otherwise kicked into touch.
The reason we are where we are in this world today isn’t because of the few at the top who ‘control everything’. It’s because the rest of us through our inaction choose to keep them there. It’s because they aren’t better than we are, but we give them a status they don’t deserve. And it’s because we don’t know who or what we would replace them with if we did something about it.
But they aren’t any better than we are, and we need to stop expecting them to be. All we are doing is setting them, and ourselves, up for failure. Responsibility doesn’t mean deciding who is to blame. Responsibility isn’t about blame at all. It’s about acceptance, learning and action that leads to improvement and growth for all.
For possibly thousands of years, the answer has been right under our noses. We know the answer, we always have. We just think it’s too hard, so we wait till someone else does it. But no-one does. And so, the so-called ‘elites’ continue to reign unabated and we continue to complain about them but do nothing.
If we want them to be better, then we must be better. It’s time for responsibility to take over on an individual level. If each of us makes the effort to only work on ourselves, that takes care of all of us. This is what we’ve known all along, and this is what is so hard. Don’t wait for someone else to take the lead for you. And no excuses like, if no-one else does, why should I? That’s the attitude that’s prevailed for the past two thousand years. It’s got a little old.
The trouble with waiting till everyone else does something before you and I get off our collective arses is that we’ll all die waiting before anything happens. Every single person who decides to act by lifting themselves up instead of blaming others brings us all closer to the kind of world we all want for ourselves and each other.
We need to all come out of the playground and grow the hell up. Each of us must take full responsibility for our lives, our conduct and how we manage our disagreements. When we do, by the very nature of it, those in power will be doing the same.
They are after all, only a reflection of ourselves, a projection of what is within our Collective Consciousness. They exist because we allow them to. Imagine a world where enough of us has made that effort, where our collective adolescence has been left far behind to make way for a better future for us all.
So now is a very good time for each of us to do all that ‘inner work’ we never gave ourselves the time to do before. Now is a very good time to look after ourselves and those we love in the very best way we can. And now is the very best time to stop projecting blame and instead take responsibility for our own lives and for the part we can each play in improving the world we all live in.
In coming from a place of unconditional love, fear is dissolved and there is no more need to project blame and guilt onto others. This is the beginning of forgiveness, where we first forgive ourselves, then we forgive all others. This is where we will experience a shift in the Collective Consciousness and that in turn, will transform the world.